Consent
What is Consent?
Consent is permission for something to happen or an agreement to do something. Affirmative consent relies on “yes means yes” rather than “no means no.”
What are the three key pillars of affirmative consent?
- Consent is an active process of knowingly, willingly, and freely choosing to participate in sex of any kind with another person.
- Consent must be coherent, meaning that people who are incapacitated by drug or alcohol or asleep are unable to consent.
- Consent requires voluntary, informed, mutual, honest, and verbal or non-verbal agreement.
- Consent is ongoing and must be asked for every step of the way. If you want to move to the next level of sexual intimacy, ask for consent first.
- Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and consenting to one sexual activity does not automatically mean consenting to another sexual activity.
- Consent is a shared responsibility for everyone engaging in any kind of sexual interaction.
- When there is an invitation to any kind of sexual interaction, consent is mutually given or affirmed when there is a resounding “Yes” among everyone involved.
- Consent can be given using words or actions—if those words or actions clearly communicate willingness to engage in the sexual contact or activity.
- It is important not to make assumptions. If there is confusion or ambiguity, participants in sexual activity need to stop and talk about each person’s willingness to continue. Fundamentally, consent requires communication. In sexual relationships, it is about communicating your own interests, listening to your partner’s interests, and moving ahead with sexual activity only if you both agree.
What is not consent?
- Manipulated or coerced sexual activity is not consensual.
- Silence or lack of resistance does not demonstrate consent.
- A person who is asleep or is incapacitated in any way, including when they are under the influence of alcohol or other substances, cannot consent.
How do I know if someone is incapacitated and cannot consent?
Common warning signs that a person may be unable to consent as a result of alcohol or drug use include slurred or incoherent speech, vomiting, or unsteady walking.
Alcohol and drugs can lower inhibitions and create confusion over whether consent is freely and affirmatively given. Keep in mind: The impact of alcohol and other drugs varies from person to person. Therefore, someone who is under the influence of substances may be able to provide consent if they understand the situation and can make an affirmative decision. However, their judgement may still be impaired. If you are unsure of whether someone can provide clear consent, then stop all sexual activity.
Who can I speak with to learn more about consent?
To learn more about consent, please attend SVR Drop-in Hours or schedule an appointment with a professional or peer advocate at Sexual Violence Response (SVR) by calling (212) 854-4357 (24/7) or (212) 854-3500 during regular business hours.
Additional Resources
Check out these additional resources to help you better understand consent: