Supporting a Survivor of Sexual Assault

Someone who has been sexually assaulted may experience shock, denial, sadness, anger, shame, anxiety, or self-blame. Inability to concentrate or relax and resurfacing memories of past abuse are also common occurrences following a sexual assault. The emotional impact of sexual assault can be both immediate and long lasting. A survivor of sexual assault may confide in you any time after the assault. Sexual assault can be difficult to talk about, so you can help by listening and encouraging survivors to seek support.

Supporting a Survivor

  • Know that revealing this experience takes a great deal of strength and courage.
  • Assure survivors that the assault was not their fault.
  • Normalize and validate feelings that come from the trauma experience.
  • Understand that the survivor’s memory may be fragmented after an assault, and they may remember additional or different facts over time.
  • Realize that behaviors that may seem difficult or obstructive may have served the survivor well in the past. If these behaviors have kept them safe, it may be hard for them to give them up.  
  • Do not expect instant trust but do everything in your power to be trustworthy.
  • Survivors should determine the pace and focus of the conversation.
  • Ask the survivor what will help them feel more comfortable and how you can best work with them.
  • Help survivors understand the options that are available but let survivors make their own decisions.
  • Avoid asking questions about what occurred; let survivors tell you what they are comfortable sharing. 
  • Survivors may interpret reassurances like “everything will be ok” to mean that you don’t understand their feelings.
  • Instead, you might say, “I’m sorry this happened to you” or “How can I be helpful?”
  • Maintaining appropriate boundaries is important for survivors because it contributes to a sense of safety. 

What to Share with Survivors

  • Encourage survivors to seek medical attention as soon as possible following a sexual assault.
  • Medical professionals can help identify possible injuries or prescribe medication(s) to prevent sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy. 
  • Physical evidence is collected in the emergency room by trained medical providers.
  • It is recommended that survivors wait to shower, brush their teeth, or change clothes until after the evidence collection.
  • Evidence can be collected up to 96 hours after an assault.
  • Evidence is useful in any criminal justice investigation, but collection does not mean survivors are required to file a police report. 

 

For more information about Columbia University policies on sexual assault, visit sexualrespect.columbia.edu.